Jason Mraz - I Won't Give Up [Official Music Video]

Dreams

I just spent some time reading my archive and came to realize how many of my posts involved Insomnia. I had forgotten how devastating that was. Obviously much has improved. In fact, I have done a 180 so today I sleep about 10 hours a day. No doubt due to the fact that I wake up every 1/2 hour to change position due to the pain in my shoulders. However, unless I have something to get up for, I totally enjoy drifting in and out for several hours before I am finally able to remain awake. It's an unusual experience for me to say the least but came across a quote that makes me realize I am not the only one. So superior to the years of Insomnia.

The best thing about dreams is that fleeting moment, when you are between asleep and awake, when you don't know the difference between reality and fantasy, when for just that one moment you feel with your entire soul that the dream is reality, and it really happened. 
~Author Unknown~

My dreams are so vivid, I encounter so many of my deceased loved ones, travel to so many exotic destinations, I have a life full of adventure and the unexpected, that I have no desire to wake up to my reality. I am fully alive and joyful in my dreams.....why would I want to re-enter the 'real' world. Not sure anymore which is what. Reality I mean.

~ Tutte ~

► Planet Earth: Lest We Forgot our Beautiful Home

Options

After my Isolation of the last 9 years and moving into a more peaceful space, I should be very grateful for having more options. However, I am discovering that has become a huge stressor since I have no idea what to do with them. I can never recapture my passions and what made my life meaningful or purposeful. Regardless of my ideas and plans, I am always ALONE and without the means to recreate them. The recent Hospital stay reminded me of my dormant personality, the sense of humour that is inherent in my soul, and the need for company and interactions with others  I so desperately need.

My sons are not available nor do I have grandchildren and expect I never will. That is the natural progression of aging for most. We need youth and the regeneration of our blood to keep us alive and young in spirit. Fortunately I still am despite that lack of family. Have no idea how to reintegrate that experience back into my life without my sons being present.

My month's stay in the hospital was like a vacation despite the pain and the GD bed. I was re-introduced to life, youth, people of various personality types etc. I just loved it. Sounds strange but an indication of what my needs are. Being part of a community of some community. A place to connect with others. With my recurring health problems and my dislike for wearing my dental plate leaves me with still limited options. I continue to think of what could/would fill that need.

Must find one but have no idea yet where. I know I have options in terms of Senior Activity Centers but can't envision myself doing that. I don't belong to any Church. What I loved about being in the hospital was the interactions I had with young people. Having spent 10 years visiting my mother in a nursing home and with seniors, that is not what will rejuvenate my spirit. I want youth and energy and a zest for life around me. People my age, share stories around their ailments and I have had enough of those. Not in the least joyful. I want JOY back in my life.

 ~ Tutte ~

Embracing

It's the Weekend and Easter as well and I just want to be cuddled in the arms of my beloved. Especially after the trauma of the last two months. There is no one here for me and I am so lonely and feeling deprived of a human touch. Having a cat to cuddle would suffice. Myki provided that in the past. I could have another but I won't.
 ~ Tutte ~

In My Dreams

My Heart Sighed

And when I met you my heart sighed. The sigh radiated from the hole in my chest, from that place that had never seen light, from that place that had taken all of my joy and given me only loneliness.
"There you are," it said, "you don't know how long I have been waiting for you."
Author Unknown

This feeling was experienced and acknowledged by both Arch and I and we recognized what a gift we received when we met one another.

~ Tutte ~